About 6 months ago when we told the boys about Cathy's cancer it was a little overwhelming for them. We had decided that we would give them small bits of information over time - nuggets that were the right size to digest - rather than all of the information at once. We didn't let their reactions bother us. In general, they were kind of unresponsive. I don't think that means they were unconcerned or uncaring, they just didn't really understand and would rather play games than hear about cancer.
When Cathy cut her hair just before it fell out, Aaron said something that has stuck with us. "Does this mean that mom isn't going to be a mammal anymore?" We laughed, but when you're 8 (and especially when you're Aaron) you deal with the world in a series of absolutes. Mammals have hair. If Mom doesn't have hair, she can't be a mammal. Well, Cathy lost her hair and Aaron looked forward to the day that his mom would become a mammal again.
Cathy is now more of a mammal than I am. While still a little thin and fine, her hair is longer than mine. She's a little sad that she has to shave her legs again because the hair is growing everywhere else also. Tradeoffs. It's not enough hair to style or go out in public, or keep her warm, yet, but it's hair and it's there.
Cathy had one last (probably) fill in her expanders last week. She was told that she is "out of vertical skin." Which basically means that her skin can't stretch anymore and her chest will be pretty much the size it is now. She's ok with that, because she fits into her old bras pretty comfortably. After she's had her exchange surgery and all the healing and swelling is resolved, she's looking forward to bra shopping again. As I understand, finding just the right bra is often as difficult as...well, a lot of things.
In profile, Cathy looks about like she did when we started dating almost 20 years ago. She's about 10 pounds lighter and her chest is as hard as a rock, but she looks pretty normal (which translates to beautiful). It will be interesting to see how things change with the exchange surgery. I'm predicting and hoping that much of her chest discomfort will disappear shortly after the exchange, simply with the placement of a softer, permanent implant.
Neuropathy has returned in the last week. Cathy's lower left leg and foot are painful. This pain is a little disheartening since it comes at the same time that she's worked her way down to taking Tylenol only at night for her chest pain. As we've come to expect, some good, some bad.
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