People keep telling us to expect ups and downs.  Today was like that.  Last night ended with despair and this morning kind of continued that feeling.  Clara just does not understand why she can't nurse.  Last night she cried, "MUMUMUMU."  Cathy and I both lost it at that point.  Clara still doesn't care for formula, but the lactation consultant says that eventually she'll figure out that formula is her only source.  That's sad.  Cathy's now-cancerous breasts have fed three healthy children.  The factory is now closed for business - except that the assembly line is still working.  Her chest is gigantic, full of milk, and really painful.  She has some frozen turnip greens and some cabbage leaves to make it feel better though.  


Today Cathy had a blood draw to test for BRCA 1/2 gene mutation.  This gene mutation is a cancer predictor at a rate of about 80%.  They highly suspect her to have this gene because she is so young.  BRCA is an inherited gene that likely came from one side of the family or the other.  The purpose isn't to place blame, but to try to predict the future and perhaps warn other extended family members of the possibility that they might possess the gene.  It is likely that Cathy has BRCA 1 or 2.  The numbers 1 and 2 represent different sides of the dna helix.  Having a mutated side means that only one other side of the gene needs to mutate for cancer to get going.  People who have BRCA 1 and 2 typically form juvenile cancers because they start with a loaded gun, so to speak.  Having only BRCA is more like having a gun and a box of bullets, you may or may not put the two together.


Cathy is looking for wigs.  We picked up Aaron.  I gave Clara a bath and she fell asleep for the night without nursing for the first time in her life.