Last week Cathy made it through her first week on her own with Clara. Entering week four after surgery, Cathy is able to lift Clara to the high chair for meals and to the crib for nap time. Although she shouldn't and it causes her pain, Cathy will carry Clara around from time to time. Fear not, Cathy has been properly scolded by her overprotective husband. Even though she knows I don't have any expectations for work to be done around the house, she likes to do it anyway and sometimes it's easier to do the work when she's carrying Clara. Cathy, I know you're reading! Nothing is so important that it can't wait until I get home to take care of Clara (danger situations notwithstanding). I love you!
All kidding aside, it is wonderful to see Clara reach for Cathy and for Cathy to be able to pick her up. It's a sweet reward after all the hardship hearkening back to the overnight weaning and Clara's cries for Cathy. Trials and blessings.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
LiveStrong
I'm not a Lance Armstrong apologist. It seems that he has enough apologizing to do on his own and doesn't really need anybody's help. However, I like to ride my bike. In fact, I've ridden a lot of miles. I even ride a Trek bike, like the one Lance rode in his first Tour de France victory in 1999 (but I didn't buy it because of him - it was the cheapest carbon bike I could find). I rode my bike in LiveStrong fundraising events in 2010 and 2011. I had cancer, my wife HAD cancer, my brother had cancer, my sister-in-law had cancer. I've read a lot of books about Lance because he had cancer and he likes to ride bikes also. For some reason that I can't quite explain I have an intricate and tangled psychological/emotional connection with Lance Armstrong. Understanding that connection would probably take many hours and involve a leather couch and some people with PhD and/or MD after their names. But I'm not a Lance Armstrong apologist.
There is an important distinction that needs to be made between Lance Armstrong's athletic activities, his self-acknowledged flaws, and the LiveStrong Foundation that he founded. Perhaps because I've read quite a few books about Lance I wasn't surprised by anything he said in the infamous interview with Oprah. For a number of years I've also been able to compartmentalize my feelings about Lance as a competitor, a human being, and a cancer fighter. Oprah and Lance came to the conclusion that he is a bully - or maybe more appropriately - exhibits bullying behaviors. There are very few times that bullying is an acceptable behavior. Bike racers don't need to be bullied. Reporters don't need to be bullied. Friends don't need to be bullied. But, cancer does need a bully and Lance is that bully.
The disease needs to be pushed around and shown who's boss. Unfortunately, sometimes hospitals, doctors, and insurance companies need that, too. We have been very fortunate that in Cathy's experience with cancer, as well my own, we have encountered excellent doctors, competent hospitals, and sufficient insurance. Our experience is not always the norm. That is where LiveStrong comes in.
LiveStrong is not out to find a cure for cancer. LiveStrong's aim is not to raise money to fund research. LiveStrong works to support people who are struggling with the disease. This includes those who are fighting cancer and the people who care for them. LiveStrong's mission is to assist people in accessing the resources they need to win the fight. Each cancer patient's journey is different and requires access to varying resources, which might include competent doctors, insurance claims, treatment plans, clinical trials, alternative therapies, financial assistance, understanding patients' rights, etc.
Cathy and I remarked to one another on numerous occasions that we could not imagine going through this disease without our network of insurance, doctors, family, neighbors, work flexibility, and above average intelligence. The sheer amount of information that is necessary to digest is daunting. The number of choices that need to be made, often on a short time schedule, can cause extreme stress and anxiety. When you factor in the emotions that go along with a cancer diagnosis, it's easy to make life altering mistakes. LiveStrong works to help make all of this more manageable.
LiveStrong offers a number of free services, but the one that I find most universal is the Guidebook and Planner/Journal. I say that it's universal because it works pretty well in helping someone with any type of cancer organize and process the mountains of information that are part of the fight. LiveStrong will ship a free Guidebook and Planner/Journal to anyone who requests it.
The Guidebook provides all kinds of information that helps patients and caregivers plan the fight and make decisions necessary to win the fight. The Guidebook contains a lot of "well, I never thought of that" information and scenarios, as well as some great starting points for deeper research into the billions of facets of dealing with the disease.
The Planner/Journal is organized in the same format as the Guidebook, but it provides questions to ask doctors, spaces to write answers, forms to track treatments, folders to place important information, and charts to note progress.
These resources are indescribably helpful. Every cancer patient needs these books to understand the decisions that lie ahead and organize the battle plan. In addition to these books, LiveStrong provides face-to-face services to assist in the same manner. It is my belief that when Lance had cancer he refused to be a victim of the disease. He also refused to be a victim of the treatment. Many cancer treatments are vicious and costly on many fronts. An informed and organized battle plan can maximize the damage to cancer and minimize the damage to the patient. In a nutshell, this has been Lance's mission with LiveStrong.
I hope that the people who have supported LiveStrong in the past will continue to support the organization. I also hope that the businesses that have contributed to the mission will see that their money has provided more that the almighty "return on investment". Personally, I have supported businesses that have supported LiveStrong because I know that the real ROI is lives lived. Over the past 11 years I have been able to separate Lance Armstrong, the cyclist/doper/cheater/bully/liar from Lance Armstrong, the founder of an organization that has improved the lives of millions. I hope others are able to do the same because LiveStrong is important regardless of the transgressions of its founder.
There is an important distinction that needs to be made between Lance Armstrong's athletic activities, his self-acknowledged flaws, and the LiveStrong Foundation that he founded. Perhaps because I've read quite a few books about Lance I wasn't surprised by anything he said in the infamous interview with Oprah. For a number of years I've also been able to compartmentalize my feelings about Lance as a competitor, a human being, and a cancer fighter. Oprah and Lance came to the conclusion that he is a bully - or maybe more appropriately - exhibits bullying behaviors. There are very few times that bullying is an acceptable behavior. Bike racers don't need to be bullied. Reporters don't need to be bullied. Friends don't need to be bullied. But, cancer does need a bully and Lance is that bully.
The disease needs to be pushed around and shown who's boss. Unfortunately, sometimes hospitals, doctors, and insurance companies need that, too. We have been very fortunate that in Cathy's experience with cancer, as well my own, we have encountered excellent doctors, competent hospitals, and sufficient insurance. Our experience is not always the norm. That is where LiveStrong comes in.
LiveStrong is not out to find a cure for cancer. LiveStrong's aim is not to raise money to fund research. LiveStrong works to support people who are struggling with the disease. This includes those who are fighting cancer and the people who care for them. LiveStrong's mission is to assist people in accessing the resources they need to win the fight. Each cancer patient's journey is different and requires access to varying resources, which might include competent doctors, insurance claims, treatment plans, clinical trials, alternative therapies, financial assistance, understanding patients' rights, etc.
Cathy and I remarked to one another on numerous occasions that we could not imagine going through this disease without our network of insurance, doctors, family, neighbors, work flexibility, and above average intelligence. The sheer amount of information that is necessary to digest is daunting. The number of choices that need to be made, often on a short time schedule, can cause extreme stress and anxiety. When you factor in the emotions that go along with a cancer diagnosis, it's easy to make life altering mistakes. LiveStrong works to help make all of this more manageable.
LiveStrong offers a number of free services, but the one that I find most universal is the Guidebook and Planner/Journal. I say that it's universal because it works pretty well in helping someone with any type of cancer organize and process the mountains of information that are part of the fight. LiveStrong will ship a free Guidebook and Planner/Journal to anyone who requests it.
The Guidebook provides all kinds of information that helps patients and caregivers plan the fight and make decisions necessary to win the fight. The Guidebook contains a lot of "well, I never thought of that" information and scenarios, as well as some great starting points for deeper research into the billions of facets of dealing with the disease.
The Planner/Journal is organized in the same format as the Guidebook, but it provides questions to ask doctors, spaces to write answers, forms to track treatments, folders to place important information, and charts to note progress.
These resources are indescribably helpful. Every cancer patient needs these books to understand the decisions that lie ahead and organize the battle plan. In addition to these books, LiveStrong provides face-to-face services to assist in the same manner. It is my belief that when Lance had cancer he refused to be a victim of the disease. He also refused to be a victim of the treatment. Many cancer treatments are vicious and costly on many fronts. An informed and organized battle plan can maximize the damage to cancer and minimize the damage to the patient. In a nutshell, this has been Lance's mission with LiveStrong.
I hope that the people who have supported LiveStrong in the past will continue to support the organization. I also hope that the businesses that have contributed to the mission will see that their money has provided more that the almighty "return on investment". Personally, I have supported businesses that have supported LiveStrong because I know that the real ROI is lives lived. Over the past 11 years I have been able to separate Lance Armstrong, the cyclist/doper/cheater/bully/liar from Lance Armstrong, the founder of an organization that has improved the lives of millions. I hope others are able to do the same because LiveStrong is important regardless of the transgressions of its founder.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Good Things
Cathy's appointment with Dr. Drosick was a good one. It was a 3 month (!) follow up from the end of chemo. Dr. Drosick's optimism really bolstered us. It's not that we were down, but it always feels good to have doctors tell you that the odds are in your favor. He told us that, statistically speaking, it is highly unlikely for Cathy to have a recurrence based on her response to chemo. Happy news! We will still continue to be vigilant, especially with exercise and diet. Cathy has already increased her walking and stretching, with an aim toward yoga and other cardio and muscular conditioning. She's feeling well enough to walk 45 minutes at a time. She still has some pain and discomfort in her chest, depending upon how she moves. Cathy is only taking one Tylenol at night and nothing in the day, having finished her antibiotic course last week. As far as eating goes, we are focusing on a regular healthy diet with emphasis on vegetables and fruits, lean meats and whole grains. We still eat organic when possible, but we pretty much did that before cancer anyway. Eating the right stuff is only really difficult when our schedules get crazy and we don't plan far enough ahead. It's also tough when the sweet tooth strikes, Cathy and I both have a pretty powerful sweet tooth. We're finding alternatives, though, like dark chocolate with high cocoa percentage, which is loaded with antioxidants. One little square of dark chocolate with some almond or peanut butter goes a long way!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
To the Legion of Angels
I believe in angels. I believe in the classic vision of beautiful, winged cherubs. I also believe in angels as frightening harbingers of wrath and destruction - and everything in between. I don't know if I believe that God uses people as angels in literal terms, but I do believe that God uses people to do the work of angels on earth.
Since June, we have seen many examples of the closest approximation to real-life legion of angels that I can imagine. Many of you have been part of this legion of angels. And I want to thank you.
There is no adequate way to say thank you to the enormous number of people who have helped us. Cathy is much better at writing thank yous than I am. I've written a lot, but just a small percentage of what she's written. Although we remind and nudge each other when there are thank yous to write, I'm sure there have been a few we've missed here or there. I don't know who we've missed, but we are so thankful for all the physical, spiritual, and emotional blessings we've received.
There have been a considerable number of anonymous blessings, as well. We can never personalize a thank you for these blessings. They include letters of encouragement, gift cards, services, and even a Christmas Jar full of money. Identified or anonymous, we thank you.
Thank you, legion of angels, for blessing our lives with comfort during hardship. Thank you, legion of angels, for easing our difficult path. Thank you, legion of angels, for standing beside us. You, legion of angels, are the embodiment of what is best in humanity.
Since June, we have seen many examples of the closest approximation to real-life legion of angels that I can imagine. Many of you have been part of this legion of angels. And I want to thank you.
There is no adequate way to say thank you to the enormous number of people who have helped us. Cathy is much better at writing thank yous than I am. I've written a lot, but just a small percentage of what she's written. Although we remind and nudge each other when there are thank yous to write, I'm sure there have been a few we've missed here or there. I don't know who we've missed, but we are so thankful for all the physical, spiritual, and emotional blessings we've received.
There have been a considerable number of anonymous blessings, as well. We can never personalize a thank you for these blessings. They include letters of encouragement, gift cards, services, and even a Christmas Jar full of money. Identified or anonymous, we thank you.
Thank you, legion of angels, for blessing our lives with comfort during hardship. Thank you, legion of angels, for easing our difficult path. Thank you, legion of angels, for standing beside us. You, legion of angels, are the embodiment of what is best in humanity.
Cathy Update
Cathy is remarkable. As I am typing she is dancing through the kitchen from the microwave to the calendar. She went to church this morning, had no naps, and is only taking Tylenol and her antibiotic. Today, she fed Clara two meals and tucked the boys into bed. I don't know what else to say! She is feeling a little bit of pain, but I can't believe she had surgery two days ago!
...And she looks beautiful!
...And she looks beautiful!
Friday, January 4, 2013
A Good Day
Cathy's surgery went well today. They rolled her to the OR at about 9:15 and they called me to talk to Dr. Butterfield about an hour and a half later. Dr. Butterfield told me that everything went as expected and that she replaced the expanders with permanent implants that were about the same size as the expanders. Dr. Butterfield couldn't find a leak in Cathy's left expander, so its deflation will apparently remain a mystery. We were home before 2:00 pm.
While Cathy is definitely sore, the permanent implants have already given her some relief from the discomfort of the expanders. It hurts her to bend over, twist, reach, and other things that would logically cause pain to someone who just had chest surgery, but it seems that the pain is bearable and that she is feeling well. As per usual, Cathy has already jettisoned the Percocet and gone just to Tylenol. We'll see how that works through the night, but I have a feeling she'll gut it out with just the Tylenol.
Other than a short rest this afternoon, Cathy has been awake, alert, and conversational. She even helped clear the dinner plates and played with Clara a little (not lifting her, of course). Cathy is a remarkable person and a really good patient. She's so tough.
While Cathy is definitely sore, the permanent implants have already given her some relief from the discomfort of the expanders. It hurts her to bend over, twist, reach, and other things that would logically cause pain to someone who just had chest surgery, but it seems that the pain is bearable and that she is feeling well. As per usual, Cathy has already jettisoned the Percocet and gone just to Tylenol. We'll see how that works through the night, but I have a feeling she'll gut it out with just the Tylenol.
Other than a short rest this afternoon, Cathy has been awake, alert, and conversational. She even helped clear the dinner plates and played with Clara a little (not lifting her, of course). Cathy is a remarkable person and a really good patient. She's so tough.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Enjoying It While She Can
Cathy is upstairs putting Clara to bed. This is a good thing on many levels. She wants to put Clara to bed and she is able to put Clara to bed. This past week has been a blessing for Cathy. Christmas Day marked six weeks since her mastectomy. That six week time period was the minimum that the surgeon suggested for her to avoid picking up Clara. On the day of our Savior's birth, Cathy happily lifted her own baby after six weeks of watching other people lift her. Since Christmas, Cathy has been taking every opportunity possible to lift Clara. Cathy has been soaking up Clara's love this week because after her surgery tomorrow it will be at least two more weeks before she can lift Clara again.
I can relate on some small level. After avoiding illness for Cathy's the entire time of chemo and mastectomy recovery, I finally fell ill yesterday. I haven't been holding Clara because I don't want her to get sick - and Cathy CAN hold Clara! It hurts my heart when Clara runs over to me with her arms extended, begging to be picked up, only to be turned away and told, "No, I'm sorry, I can't hold you." It's only been two days for me. I can't imagine Cathy's longing after six weeks.
Tomorrow at around 9:00am Cathy will have her last major surgery. Her temporary expanders will be removed and permanent implants will be placed in the pockets of muscle that the expanders have created. She is looking forward to closing the last chapter of this book and opening the cover of a new book. It is certainly not the end of the journey, but it is definitely a turning point.
She's been so happy this last week and especially today. She enjoys being a mom and being able to function fully in that role brings her great reward. The next two weeks will be emotionally challenging, but will also bring hope for new health and a return to feeling like a whole human again.
I can relate on some small level. After avoiding illness for Cathy's the entire time of chemo and mastectomy recovery, I finally fell ill yesterday. I haven't been holding Clara because I don't want her to get sick - and Cathy CAN hold Clara! It hurts my heart when Clara runs over to me with her arms extended, begging to be picked up, only to be turned away and told, "No, I'm sorry, I can't hold you." It's only been two days for me. I can't imagine Cathy's longing after six weeks.
Tomorrow at around 9:00am Cathy will have her last major surgery. Her temporary expanders will be removed and permanent implants will be placed in the pockets of muscle that the expanders have created. She is looking forward to closing the last chapter of this book and opening the cover of a new book. It is certainly not the end of the journey, but it is definitely a turning point.
She's been so happy this last week and especially today. She enjoys being a mom and being able to function fully in that role brings her great reward. The next two weeks will be emotionally challenging, but will also bring hope for new health and a return to feeling like a whole human again.
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