On this last day of Breast Cancer Awareness month I have some thoughts from the perspective of a breast cancer husband. Here are my top five thoughts that women our age or older should NOT have:
5. I'm not old enough for a mammogram or breast exam.
4. It can't/won't happen to me.
3. I breast fed so I'm not at risk.
2. I'll do it tomorrow.
1. I'll wait and see if it goes away.
Even though it is almost the end of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I now live Breast Cancer Awareness life. Take care of yourselves.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
When I was in the shower this morning I thought of about 5 really important things to include in this post. Now that I'm out of the shower and the day has passed, those thoughts have passed also. Whenever we forget something, we are urged (by whom I do not know) to return to the point of origin for the thought. Aaron is currently in the shower now, so I'll do it metaphorically.
As I reached for the soap this morning I saw three eyelashes on the wall and one on the soap. I know Cathy will be mortified that I'm sharing this, but I hope that through my sharing I will elicit some prayers and she will feel my love for her. On an aside, there are so many things that she's asked me not to share. I have honored them all. She did not ask me to hold back on this - mostly because we haven't talked about it yet. Cathy has been trying so hard to hold on to her eyebrows and eyelashes for as long as possible. She knew it wouldn't be possible to preserve her hair, but she has thought that maybe she could retain some eyebrows until the new hairs began to grow. She's done a great job. While she has clearly lost 90% of her eyebrow hairs, she has been careful in drying her face and other womanly facial maintenance to keep at least an outline of eyebrows.
She's really not caught up in the whole beauty factor part of things. Of course, she would have preferred to keep her hair and all other normal features that make her attractive. Cathy has been very noble and not self-conscious about the changes in her appearance. As an example, she has worn her wig with some frequency. She wears it, though, to make others more comfortable, not because she wants to look more beautiful than if she wore a bandanna, hat, or scarf. She has proclaimed herself a "bandanna girl" just because it is so much more comfortable than a wig. In a similar way, she has wanted to keep her eyebrows, not for beauty's sake, but because she feels that if she loses them she will "look sick." Just as she hasn't given in emotionally, or even to some extent physically, to the side effects of treatment; she doesn't want to look sick.
I think she's going to begin growing hair by Thanksgiving. I hope she begins to grow some eyebrows by then, too. She doesn't have many left. She has even fewer eyelashes. I'm sad for her - not because she feels ugly, not because she is unattractive to me, but because she doesn't want others to feel uncomfortable because she looks sick. Also, I feel sad for functional reasons. She gets stuff in her eyes because the eyelashes don't keep it out. Her nose runs because there's no hair to keep the mucus inside. She's so sweet, loving, and thoughtful of others that she doesn't complain, but I know those things bother her. I'm glad the chemo is over. Let's go hair!
I will close with a question. So, for those of you keeping track, I've only remembered two of the five important things I thought of this morning. This question is for the ladies reading. There are only three days left in October. That means the end of breast cancer awareness month. Have you had or scheduled your mammogram/exam this year?
As I reached for the soap this morning I saw three eyelashes on the wall and one on the soap. I know Cathy will be mortified that I'm sharing this, but I hope that through my sharing I will elicit some prayers and she will feel my love for her. On an aside, there are so many things that she's asked me not to share. I have honored them all. She did not ask me to hold back on this - mostly because we haven't talked about it yet. Cathy has been trying so hard to hold on to her eyebrows and eyelashes for as long as possible. She knew it wouldn't be possible to preserve her hair, but she has thought that maybe she could retain some eyebrows until the new hairs began to grow. She's done a great job. While she has clearly lost 90% of her eyebrow hairs, she has been careful in drying her face and other womanly facial maintenance to keep at least an outline of eyebrows.
She's really not caught up in the whole beauty factor part of things. Of course, she would have preferred to keep her hair and all other normal features that make her attractive. Cathy has been very noble and not self-conscious about the changes in her appearance. As an example, she has worn her wig with some frequency. She wears it, though, to make others more comfortable, not because she wants to look more beautiful than if she wore a bandanna, hat, or scarf. She has proclaimed herself a "bandanna girl" just because it is so much more comfortable than a wig. In a similar way, she has wanted to keep her eyebrows, not for beauty's sake, but because she feels that if she loses them she will "look sick." Just as she hasn't given in emotionally, or even to some extent physically, to the side effects of treatment; she doesn't want to look sick.
I think she's going to begin growing hair by Thanksgiving. I hope she begins to grow some eyebrows by then, too. She doesn't have many left. She has even fewer eyelashes. I'm sad for her - not because she feels ugly, not because she is unattractive to me, but because she doesn't want others to feel uncomfortable because she looks sick. Also, I feel sad for functional reasons. She gets stuff in her eyes because the eyelashes don't keep it out. Her nose runs because there's no hair to keep the mucus inside. She's so sweet, loving, and thoughtful of others that she doesn't complain, but I know those things bother her. I'm glad the chemo is over. Let's go hair!
I will close with a question. So, for those of you keeping track, I've only remembered two of the five important things I thought of this morning. This question is for the ladies reading. There are only three days left in October. That means the end of breast cancer awareness month. Have you had or scheduled your mammogram/exam this year?
Saturday, October 27, 2012
There hasn't been much new information to post in the last few weeks. Cathy has thoroughly enjoyed not having chemo this week. She has been feeling pretty good in terms of energy and nausea. Every once in a while she'll make a scrunched-up face and say, "Ew, I just tasted chemo."
The big issue currently is leg and foot pain. It seems like it might partly be peripheral neuropathy, but it could also be that gravity has just made the toxins from the chemo pool in the lowest area possible. The oncologist said that leg pain is common amongst chemo patients at the end of treatment and afterward. I give her massages almost every night, sometimes a couple of times. She's also gone to have a professional massage. Cancer Family Care has hooked her up with a masseuse specifically trained for cancer therapy. We're hoping we can get a prescription written for massage so insurance can cover it. The massage seems to provide some temporary relief for her, but it appears the pain is a lingering pain. Hopefully, it will diminish over time.
We know and feel the thoughts and prayers that so many of you are sending our way. Thankful doesn't begin to scratch the surface of what we feel. We feel very loved and cared for by all of you and by Him.
The big issue currently is leg and foot pain. It seems like it might partly be peripheral neuropathy, but it could also be that gravity has just made the toxins from the chemo pool in the lowest area possible. The oncologist said that leg pain is common amongst chemo patients at the end of treatment and afterward. I give her massages almost every night, sometimes a couple of times. She's also gone to have a professional massage. Cancer Family Care has hooked her up with a masseuse specifically trained for cancer therapy. We're hoping we can get a prescription written for massage so insurance can cover it. The massage seems to provide some temporary relief for her, but it appears the pain is a lingering pain. Hopefully, it will diminish over time.
We know and feel the thoughts and prayers that so many of you are sending our way. Thankful doesn't begin to scratch the surface of what we feel. We feel very loved and cared for by all of you and by Him.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Cathy wasn't sure she would be able to finish the walk today, but she made it all the way without a hint of fatigue. She did say afterward that her legs were tired. The route for the American Cancer Society Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk started at Yeatman's Cove and headed west toward Paul Brown Stadium. After a northward jaunt on Central Avenue and Elm Street we made our way past Fountain Square via 5th Street. We crossed the Purple People Bridge into Newport where we could see how enormous the turnout was for this event. We thought we were at the end of the group because we could see a long string of people on the levy as we were crossing the bridge. When we looped down and back under the bridge we could see that the entire bridge was full of people who were still crossing! There must have been at least 5000 people there today. We crossed back to Ohio over the Central Bridge and returned to Yeatman's Cove. It was inspirational to see so many people supporting breast cancer patients, survivors, victims, and awareness. At last glance the event raised over $300,000. That's pretty cool.
The greatest inspiration for me was Cathy. Our team of friends and family had a great time chatting as we walked the 5.5 miles in almost 2 hours. All the conversation kept Cathy focused on the wonderful people who were part of the walk instead of her fatigue. Nearly two weeks after her last chemo treatment she doesn't feel bad any longer, just more tired than normal. She also gets worn out a little faster than she would have before this all started. She was the only bald lady I saw in the event. I was proud and honored to walk beside her.
The geeky me tracked it on strava. http://app.strava.com/walks/24998288
The greatest inspiration for me was Cathy. Our team of friends and family had a great time chatting as we walked the 5.5 miles in almost 2 hours. All the conversation kept Cathy focused on the wonderful people who were part of the walk instead of her fatigue. Nearly two weeks after her last chemo treatment she doesn't feel bad any longer, just more tired than normal. She also gets worn out a little faster than she would have before this all started. She was the only bald lady I saw in the event. I was proud and honored to walk beside her.
The geeky me tracked it on strava. http://app.strava.com/walks/24998288
Friday, October 12, 2012
Wednesday was a good day for us. We had an appointment with Dr. Manders and we had a date. Dr. Manders was pleased with Cathy's tumor response and optimistic about a successful surgery. Like many of Cathy's doctor appointments, we were presented with many options. With Dr. Manders's guidance, we have a plan that we feel confident is a best path if everything goes the way we hope. We both appreciate Dr. Manders's demeanor, logic, knowledge, and communications. All of those factors increase our confidence.
On Thursday, November 1, Cathy will have a sentinel node biopsy in which she will be put to sleep and a blue dye and a radioactive marker will be injected into her breast. They will follow the dye and the marker to the sentinel lymph node and remove the first 3 or 4 lymph nodes that the dye and marker encounter through a small incision under her armpit. If lumpectomy were an option or according to an aging standard of care, frozen sections of the nodes would be analyzed under a microscope to detect the presence of cancer cells. At that point an axillary lymph node biopsy would occur if there is cancer in the nodes with the previous standard of care. Knowing that Cathy is going to have a bilateral mastectomy regardless of those results (because of the BRCA 1 gene mutation), Dr. Manders would prefer to send those lymph nodes out for a more detailed analysis to detect even isolated cancer cells in the lymph nodes. This pathology takes a few days rather than a few minutes, but can determine with greater certainty the presence of cancer in her lymph nodes. This information will determine the course of action for her mastectomy on Tuesday, November 13.
On Tuesday, November 13, Cathy will have a mastectomy. If the lymph node pathology shows no cancer cells, this procedure will be a lengthy bilateral mastectomy followed immediately by a latissimus dorsi flap reconstruction. This is what we're hoping and praying for. If the pathology shows even one cancer cell, Cathy will instead have a right breast mastectomy. She will then go through a course of radiation on the right side. Once her tissue has recovered from radiation, she would undergo a second procedure that would begin with a left breast mastectomy followed by reconstruction on both sides. This is the less desirable option. Either way, cancer loses.
After the appointment, we had a nice dinner date at Enoteca Emilia in O'Bryonville. I highly recommend this place for blog followers in the Cincinnati area. It was a fantastic meal - the first we can remember having together without our children, or not in a hospital, or not accompanied by 250 of our closest teenage friends, in at least a year. We shared most of our food, which included:
Shitake mushroom and arugula salad with butternut squash sformato
Garganelli pasta with mushrooms, oregano, and truffle
Lamb skewers (mostly for me) with fingerling potatoes, red onions, and rosemary
Roasted brussels sprouts with shitake mushrooms and balsamic
All the food was out of sight and it was even better to be able to celebrate the end of chemo, Cathy's birthday, and the ability to have a focused face to face conversation about whatever we wanted. It also felt good to have some dates in place. We've known pretty well what was going to happen to Cathy, but having firm timing makes things a little more concrete and real. Scary and hopeful all at the same time.
On Thursday, November 1, Cathy will have a sentinel node biopsy in which she will be put to sleep and a blue dye and a radioactive marker will be injected into her breast. They will follow the dye and the marker to the sentinel lymph node and remove the first 3 or 4 lymph nodes that the dye and marker encounter through a small incision under her armpit. If lumpectomy were an option or according to an aging standard of care, frozen sections of the nodes would be analyzed under a microscope to detect the presence of cancer cells. At that point an axillary lymph node biopsy would occur if there is cancer in the nodes with the previous standard of care. Knowing that Cathy is going to have a bilateral mastectomy regardless of those results (because of the BRCA 1 gene mutation), Dr. Manders would prefer to send those lymph nodes out for a more detailed analysis to detect even isolated cancer cells in the lymph nodes. This pathology takes a few days rather than a few minutes, but can determine with greater certainty the presence of cancer in her lymph nodes. This information will determine the course of action for her mastectomy on Tuesday, November 13.
On Tuesday, November 13, Cathy will have a mastectomy. If the lymph node pathology shows no cancer cells, this procedure will be a lengthy bilateral mastectomy followed immediately by a latissimus dorsi flap reconstruction. This is what we're hoping and praying for. If the pathology shows even one cancer cell, Cathy will instead have a right breast mastectomy. She will then go through a course of radiation on the right side. Once her tissue has recovered from radiation, she would undergo a second procedure that would begin with a left breast mastectomy followed by reconstruction on both sides. This is the less desirable option. Either way, cancer loses.
After the appointment, we had a nice dinner date at Enoteca Emilia in O'Bryonville. I highly recommend this place for blog followers in the Cincinnati area. It was a fantastic meal - the first we can remember having together without our children, or not in a hospital, or not accompanied by 250 of our closest teenage friends, in at least a year. We shared most of our food, which included:
Shitake mushroom and arugula salad with butternut squash sformato
Garganelli pasta with mushrooms, oregano, and truffle
Lamb skewers (mostly for me) with fingerling potatoes, red onions, and rosemary
Roasted brussels sprouts with shitake mushrooms and balsamic
All the food was out of sight and it was even better to be able to celebrate the end of chemo, Cathy's birthday, and the ability to have a focused face to face conversation about whatever we wanted. It also felt good to have some dates in place. We've known pretty well what was going to happen to Cathy, but having firm timing makes things a little more concrete and real. Scary and hopeful all at the same time.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
I could have sworn I posted last week, but as I look back I can see that I didn't. Maybe I just thought a post (or several posts) and never actually typed them. Dr. Drosick expressed his satisfaction with Cathy's tumor response again. He predicted a successful surgery and gave his blessing for that to occur any time after 3 weeks has passed. Cathy's neuropathy concerned him enough and he felt good enough about her tumor response that he reduced her taxotere dosage by 50% this time around. We asked if that was what was causing the neuropathy. His response was, "Who knows?" We've appreciated his honesty about the mysteries of chemotherapy and his forthrightness about his take on the current research. It's too bad Cathy started chemo before all the news reports about the genome sequencing and the linking of triple negative cancer to basal cell types. It would have been interesting to hear his thoughts on the use of chemo drugs used for ovarian cancer used for TNBC instead of the more toxic anthracyclines that Cathy received. I'll have to keep up with those aspects of the research to see how all of that develops in the future. Maybe it means another avenue of chemo treatments for TNBC relapse victims when it was previously thought that a relapse was nearly indefensible? I suppose only time will tell.
While we'll never really know if it was the taxotere that caused the neuropathy, we can guess that it was one of the drugs that made her feel more terrible - maybe even more than the others. This time around, Cathy was down and out on Tuesday night and all day Wednesday, like usual. On Thursday, though, she was up and about for several hours and ate at least two meals in addition to various snacks. This is not typical! Friday she was awake almost all day and she had almost a normal weekend, with a little fatigue, but a normal appetite. Neuropathy is still a problem. Maybe that means taxotere wasn't the culprit, but it still might have been. Certainly she felt better sooner with a reduced taxotere dose, though. Duh! Less poison, less misery.
Cathy has an appointment with Dr. Manders on Wednesday. At this appointment we will outline and schedule the biopsy and surgery. It will be nice to have some set dates so that we can anticipate what the months of November and December might look like. Cathy and I are planning a dinner date after that appointment. We will celebrate the end of chemo and her birthday all at once!
While we'll never really know if it was the taxotere that caused the neuropathy, we can guess that it was one of the drugs that made her feel more terrible - maybe even more than the others. This time around, Cathy was down and out on Tuesday night and all day Wednesday, like usual. On Thursday, though, she was up and about for several hours and ate at least two meals in addition to various snacks. This is not typical! Friday she was awake almost all day and she had almost a normal weekend, with a little fatigue, but a normal appetite. Neuropathy is still a problem. Maybe that means taxotere wasn't the culprit, but it still might have been. Certainly she felt better sooner with a reduced taxotere dose, though. Duh! Less poison, less misery.
Cathy has an appointment with Dr. Manders on Wednesday. At this appointment we will outline and schedule the biopsy and surgery. It will be nice to have some set dates so that we can anticipate what the months of November and December might look like. Cathy and I are planning a dinner date after that appointment. We will celebrate the end of chemo and her birthday all at once!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)